You’re not alone: Exploring your sexuality

You don’t need to pretend to be something you are not, or deny any of your sexual orientation to anyone.

It is better to share this, especially with the people closest to you, friends, relatives and teachers (if you’re coming out at school) will support you and give you the help you need.

There is no set criteria for how a gay man or woman should look or act.

We are all just people.

When you are attracted to people of the same gender, it can be hard at first to find out if someone is open to a same sex relationship.

When you feel uncertain, there are a few recommendations you can follow:

  • Find out if they are comfortable in the LGBTQIA+ scene
  • If they are staring intensely at your lips, chances are they may want to kiss you
  • Try and make them feel comfortable around you and check by asking about their preferences for intimacy
  • Don’t become impatient and put them under pressure
  • Let them know your orientation and the fact that you are attracted to themselves

After you get past the initial meet ups and hanging out you may then be thinking about sex.

Sometimes there are relationships that can’t be defined. For example,may not explicitly be a because you haven’t made that kind of emotional connection.

You are two people with the right to mess around, every now and then you are friends with benefits.

When you hook up you should try and make sure that both partners are at a similar level of sexual maturity to avoid awkwardness.

Becoming sexual in a gay relationship doesn’t mane you have to have intercourse.

There are many types of foreplay to enjoy, which are also immensely pleasurable.

If you are just starting off you can try and use adult sex toys such as a massage vibrator to add a delicate yet enhanced feature to sexual exploration.

When you are attracted to someone you enter a whole new world.

From meeting that cute guy, it moves from desire to the playful first stages to first kisses.

However, you do need to be able to discuss sex; wants, needs, fantasies, fetishes, positions, pain, pleasure, performance, effect of medications, stress, sex toys, etc in a mature, constructive, non-damaging way.

If you start getting all the different communication techniques right you have a massive chance that your sex life will develop and improve way beyond what it is now.

You may actually find that in opening and developing real, mature, open and honest communication where you can do so without personal and emotional fear, or fear of change entering the equation that you actually may end up with an awesome sex life.

You may also find that as you open up your communication with one another you trust in one another as well as the process of change, you will actually start experimenting sexually in ways that previously you have said “No” or even been repulsed by.

In a gay relationship sex can play a big part in a developing relationship.

Desire and new found emotions that blossom within both of you and are expressed outwardly can build strong foundations for your future together as a couple.

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